


Confessions, Child Neglect and Bathing

by Tren



Series: Love, Hate and Other Misdemeanors [3]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bathing/Washing, Guilt, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 21:23:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21308833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tren/pseuds/Tren
Summary: In the light of new day, Goro Akechi is forced to face the consequences of his actions as an assassin, as well as the fact that he very much has feelings for his future target, Akira Kurusu.But it's fine. Goro will figure it out between having to confront Futaba Sakura, becoming a point of contention among Phantom Thieves, and discovering that hormones are much more difficult to manage once you stop being in denial.Or he won't figure it out at all, because Akira Kurusu is one giant distraction.A direct sequel toArson, Homicide and Cat Photos.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira
Series: Love, Hate and Other Misdemeanors [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1315895
Comments: 44
Kudos: 415





	Confessions, Child Neglect and Bathing

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to Li for the beta! And for helping me realize I've been mistyping Inokashira through the last two fics. Have I mentioned geography had always been my weakest subject (right after PE)?
> 
> This whole fic happens during one single day. Through the last half a year I only progressed the story by a day apparently. Honestly, getting to Yaldy may take more time than I thought.
> 
> The confessions in title refer to confessions in the context of law. There are no actual romantic confessions occuring in this chapter.

Morning came abruptly, leaving Goro utterly disoriented at the fact that what he was lying on was too hard to be a mattress, but at the same time too soft to be floor.

He blearily opened his eyes to register the fact that he had fallen asleep on top of none other than Akira Kurusu, the current leader of infamous Phantom Thieves of Hearts, the part-time barista at Leblanc, an extreme cat lover, and an utter disaster upon closer meeting.

Goro closed his eyes, as his mind slowly restarted itself to inform him how the fuck did he even end up lying on top of his nemesis. He could feel the panic slowly raising inside of him, kicking his thought processes into a high gear.

Finally, Goro recalled what happened the other day.

He immediately wished he didn’t, because his first idea—that he got drunk and did something stupid under the influence of alcohol and his traitorous hormones—was a thousand times better than what he remembered.

It also resulted in strong regrets, which involved a lot less groping and a lot more close encounters with Reaper than he initially suspected.

Goro sighed, as he tried to assess his own well-being. It seemed that in the light of a new day he had regained some facets of himself that he had been missing yesterday.

Like shame, for example.

Now that his mind fully comprehended just how compromising a situation he was in, he could feel himself overheating. He wanted to leave the bed as soon as possible, but at the same time the idea that Kurusu could wake up to see Goro in his current vulnerable state filled him with mortification.

He had to be _careful_.

He needed to be calm and analyze his situation first, starting with the detailed limb placement if he wished to untangle himself without causing a stir. Embarrassingly enough, it seemed that Goro had clung to Kurusu quite strongly through the night, since Goro’s right hand was now trapped underneath the warm body he was lying on.

As if it wasn’t mortifying enough, he quickly realized that one of Kurusu’s legs hooked over his, effectively blocking him from moving.

Not that this was enough to stop Goro. He had escaped from worse binds than that in the Metaverse.

He very, _very_ slowly slipped his leg from underneath Kurusu’s, while trying not to stare at his face too much. He wanted to make sure that he didn’t wake him up, but at the same time staring at his face was _not_ conducive to his concentration. At all.

Once his legs were free, he carefully shifted his weight off Kurusu, while slowly extracting his hand from underneath him. The process was painfully slow and Goro could feel his nerves fraying, because the longer this went on the more he had to confront just how stupidly intimate this whole situation was. 

If someone told Goro several months ago that he would end up cuddling and sharing a bed with Kurusu, and have all kinds of stupidly mushy feelings about it, he would probably have laughed at them. 

He finally pulled his hand out. Kurusu frowned at that, his brows creasing.

Goro stopped his breathing, waiting to see if he would wake up or not. 

There was a moment of tense silence, before Kurusu’s breathing once more evened out.

“Idiot,” Goro muttered fondly. Kurusu was so stupid to let his guard down like that. To be so vulnerable in the presence of a person who was supposed to kill him. Goro moved his hand and almost touched his cheek, before he remembered this wasn’t what he was supposed to do. 

He slowly stepped out of the bed, almost wincing from the cold touch of the wooden floor. A part of him strongly wished to return to the bed. To enjoy the warmth of the only person who actually seemed to genuinely liked him.

Yeah, as if he deserved that.

Instead, Goro stole a pair of Kurusu’s socks and walked downstairs, making sure to walk close to the wall, so the stairs wouldn’t creak too much. He also made sure to take his phone and charger. He needed to keep his phone’s battery alive, if he wanted to get out of this messed up situation.

There was no one downstairs. 

Goro blinked and then checked his phone for the time. It was strange. Usually, the cafe would be opening at this time. He shrugged. Maybe Sojiro decided not to open the shop today, given that Phantom Thieves were planning to hold a meeting here.

Goro found a power outlet and left his phone to charge, while he went to find something edible.

There were ingredients for curry.

Goro scourged the whole kitchen trying to find something else, but only found more coffee beans than he believed was possible to stock in such a small kitchen.

Finally, he sat at the booth and sighed. Guess he would have to go shopping to get something edible. He _could_ eat plain rice, but today it would remind him way too much of his days at foster care.

He needed to get something better than that if he hoped to get through today, but he didn’t really know where any shop was in this district. He never paid much attention to any buildings here that weren’t Leblanc. On that note, he really should buy some clothes, he decided, looking at the atrocious fake hawaiian shirt he was still wearing. He needed to get something decent to wear, if he was supposed to appear before the other Phantom Thieves and not be taken as a fucking joke.

As if to answer him, there was a quiet chime and Futaba Sakura entered the cafe.

“Hey!” she said, waving with her free hand, while she awkwardly held the key in the other.

Goro looked at her. Sakura immediately seemed to shrink under his gaze, which really wasn’t what Goro was going for.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, only to realize his throat was coarse. He shook his head and got up, scooping up a glass to get some tap water.

“Uhm… I realized that you don’t really have anything for breakfast so I came here with some backup,” she said quickly, pulling out two packs of sweet bread.

Goro looked at her offering in silence. He didn’t like sweet bread. Not this brand anyway. One foster family made him live exclusively off it for a month.

“We-we could also go buy something,” Sakura suggested nervously, and Goro realized he must have been making a face.

“Yeah… I would prefer that,” Goro said tiredly, forcing himself to remember how to be nice. It really wouldn’t help him if he kept triggering Sakura’s anxiety. “Just give me a moment to get something that will make me stand out less.”

He returned upstairs and stole Kurusu’s hoodie. It covered the loud shirt he was wearing and the hood helped make him less recognizable. He finished dressing up quickly, but quietly, not wanting to wake Kurusu up.

When he returned to the cafe, Sakura seemed to have regained some of her initial pep.

“Could you first lead me to a clothing shop? I don’t want to keep wearing Kurusu’s tacky clothes,” he requested, as the two of them left the cafe. Sakura dutifully closed the door so someone wouldn’t steal their sleeping leader while they were out shopping.

“Sure, but there’s only a small shop here and half of the stuff there is second hand.”

“It’s better than this hideous Hawaiian shirt,” he said quietly, not wanting to stand out in the street. “I have no idea where the fuck Kurusu found this abomination but I don’t want to spend one minute longer than I need wearing it.”

“Wow,” Sakura muttered. “I’m still not used to you being… you know. But I hear you. I think he bought it because it was so terrible. As a sort of a joke,” Futaba explained, leading him through the narrow streets of Yongen-jaya.

“Yeah, I should have guessed that.”

*

The boutique was indeed pretty small. Goro critically looked at the clothing. He hated the smell of second hand clothes—yet another annoying reminder of his unhappy past—so he quickly drifted towards the part of the shop which had the new ones.

“Are you looking for something, dearie?” an older woman asked as she approached them. She seemed to be the owner. “Oh, Sakura, nice to see you.”

“Uh… hi!” Sakura muttered shyly. “Umm… my friend here needs some clothes.”

Goro smiled at the woman automatically.

“I’m sorry, but the bag with my clothes got mishandled while I was on my way to Tokyo, and I need something to survive the next couple of days until I get my baggage back,” he lied effortlessly. “I only have the clothes I rode in.”

“How terrible. Let me see if I have something that could fit you,” she muttered, checking the clothes on display.

Luckily she did have a few things that were passable.

Sakura was laughing hard as Goro looked at the black shirt that fit him criminally well and had BAD BOY written on it in white block letters.

It was still better than that terrible Hawaiian shirt.

He bought it, as well as two other shirts, a pair of pants, several pairs of socks and some underwear. 

“Shouldn’t you also get a hoodie or jacket?” Sakura asked, as Goro paid for the clothes. Luckily, he still had quite a lot of money from his Metaverse outings. Shido would be able to track his purchases if he used his credit card, and Goro definitely didn’t want that.

“This one is sufficient,” Goro said, as they left the shop and started to walk towards the supermarket.

“I thought you didn’t want to wear Akira’s clothes,” Sakura said, trying to sound disinterested but failing miserably.

“I didn’t want to wear his terrible clothes,” Goro pointed out, not really caring about Sakura’s opinions on the matter. The hoodie was stupidly comfortable and it made him feel as if Kurusu was there, but he wasn’t going to share that particular information with anyone. Ever. “If he’s so fucking bent on sacrificing his life for me then he can start by lending me his hoodie.”

Sakura fell silent after that, visibly sinking into her thoughts.

Goro tried not to sink into his, because there was absolutely nothing pleasant about them.

“...thanks,” he finally muttered, unable to stand their quiet walk. Sakura moved her head, looking at hi with surprise. “For showing me the way.”

“Oh,” she replied, before wordlessly pointing to his right. Apparently, they had already arrived at the supermarket. Goro nodded at her before entering the shop. Sakura stayed behind, holding one of his bags of clothing and looking as if she wasn’t sure what to do with herself.

Goro absently picked up the things he deemed edible and threw them into the cart. 

Somehow the fact that Sakura had been nice to him made him feel out of balance. He knew she was smart enough to figure things out. That Goro had to be the person responsible for Wakaba’s death. That he had been planning to kill another person close to her.

Yet, she was staying silent about the whole thing and acting as if Goro hadn’t ruined her life.

It made him feel like suffocating, just thinking about it. It was easy to dismiss someone else’s anger as an irrational emotion. But understanding and kindness? Forgiveness? Those things felt alien and terrifying to him.

He stopped before the fridge with selection of sushi and decided to throw in an extra one for Morgana. He didn’t want to feel like he had a debt of gratitude towards a weird talking cat just because it saved his life yesterday.

Unfortunately, that only bred another question of whether he should buy something for Sakura as well. However he looked at it, she also contributed to saving his life. Not to mention she was now a member of an exclusive _we don’t want Akechi dead even though our lives would have been infinitely better without him_ club which consisted of two people and a talking cat.

He threw several snacks he remembered seeing at Phantom Thieves meetings into his cart, before he could start second guessing himself.

When he left the shop carrying so many bags he was almost staggering under them, he found Sakura typing on her mobile. She was so engrossed in it, she almost didn’t notice him.

Goro shoved a bag at her. She yelped and almost dropped her phone, surprised by his sudden appearance.

“Take this,” Goro said, acting as if nothing happened, while Sakura quickly hid the phone in her pocket. “It’s too much for me.”

Sakura took the bag, looking confused and slightly guilty. A more paranoid part of Goro immediately made him suspect that she had been texting about him. However, the only person she could have been bad-mouthing Goro with was Kurusu and him being awake before noon sounded extremely unlikely.

They returned to Leblanc in awkward silence. It was painfully obvious that Sakura either wanted something from him or was trying to hide something from him.

Or both. Given how screwed up Goro’s life had been recently, it was probably both.

He watched Sakura unlock the door and felt extremely relieved to be able to finally put down the bags with the food. He took the remaining bags with clothes and wordlessly went upstairs to leave them there. It seemed like Sakura wanted to say something to him, but stopped herself at last second. Goro didn’t wait for her, deciding that whatever heart to heart she wanted to have could wait until he unpacked everything he bought.

He wasn’t procrastinating on whatever difficult conversation Sakura was planning to have with him. He was just task oriented. Do everything in proper order and all that shit.

However, as he ascended the stairs he found something strange. 

Kurusu’s bed was empty.

Goro quickly threw his bags with clothes next to the cardboard box Kurusu was using to store his and returned to the cafe.

“Do you know where he is?” Goro asked, pretty sure that she knew exactly who he was talking about.

“Ah, Akira?” Sakura asked in a tone of voice that immediately told him that she knew about his absence beforehand. “Sorry, forgot to tell you. He went out with Morgana to check something.”

“What could pull him out of bed at this hour?” Goro asked, as checked his phone to see that it was ten in the morning. Their shopping took a bit longer than he expected, but it was still way too early for Kurusu to be out of the bed during the weekend. 

“You can ask him when he returns,” Sakura said evasively. Goro would bet his money she knew exactly where he went, but he decided not to waste his time interrogating her. 

He was avoiding talking with Sakura, so encouraging her would be counterproductive.

Instead, Goro took the bags of food and started to hide some of the things he bought inside the fridge. Sakura was quiet for a moment, visibly taken aback by his silent treatment.

“Say… Akechi…” she started shyly when he finished hiding things in the fridge.

Time to use his secret weapon.

“Here,” he said, pushing the bag with snacks at her, before she could finish the sentence. “That’s for you,” he said shortly, quickly turning around to once more busy himself with things he bought.

Sakura looked at the bag in her hands as if it was full of snakes, rather than a variety of snacks.

“Uhhhh… why?” she asked, sounding genuinely confused.

“You saved my life yesterday,” he admitted with his back still turned on her, as he put some of the things he bought on the shelves in the kitchen. “Well, you were probably more concerned with Kurusu, but you did help me as well,” he said. The words seemed to get stuck in his throat, as he remembered Sakura’s outburst yesterday. How she insisted that he shouldn’t die.

There was now a strange feeling of suffocation whenever he thought back on her words.

“Ah, no, it wasn’t really anything…” she muttered, sounding embarrassed.

Goro suddenly felt angry at her. How could she just call something that felt so important to him nothing. Didn’t they see how precious it was? How rare and fragile her gift was? 

They were all idiots who didn’t even understand how blessed they were. 

“It was,” he insisted, almost hissing the words through his teeth. He turned around to confront her. “Don’t fucking act like it was nothing.”

Sakura seemed to freeze, surprised by Goro’s sudden hostility.

“What are you…?”

“You are all so fucking dense,” Goro complained. “Can’t you see I’m actually trying to thank you? You think I would waste time on that if you did _nothing_? I thought you were smarter than that!”

Sakura stared at him in silence. He could see her slowly parsing what he had said, while his own mind finally caught up to the fact that he had just shouted at the person he was trying to thank.

That was almost as smooth as that one time when Kurusu tried to impress Goro by completing the Big Bang Challenge and ended up choking on his burger. Luckily for him, Goro realized what was going on and helped to save the Phantom Thieves’ leader from untimely death via an overpriced burger.

Except, there was no one here to help save Goro from his own bad decisions, because Kurusu was busy goofing off with his cat god knows where.

“Uh, sorry,” Sakura finally said, drawing Goro out of his thoughts.

He scoffed.

“What for? Don’t you think I’m the unreasonable person here?” he asked challengingly, but this time Sakura didn’t avert her eyes from him.

“No, I think I finally understand what Akira meant,” she admitted, deciding to check the snacks she received.

“What he meant?” Goro repeated confused.

“Yeah, when he shouted at Makoto that she should at least try to understand where you are coming from,” Sakura recounted in a flat tone of voice, as if the internal struggle within the Phantom Thieves wasn’t really that important. “Ann told me it was the first time he pushed for something so hard.”

“I think it’s stupid. Causing a split within the group at the time when he needs their support the most,” Goro recounted, as he finished putting the last of the things he had bought inside the cupboard. “He’s a terrible leader.”

“Wow, aren’t you critical,” Sakura noted sounding more amused than anything. Goro ignored her in favour of pouring water into the kettle. Since there was no one to make him a decent cup of coffee he decided to settle down for tea. 

“Oh, make me a cup too!” Sakura shouted as she realized what Goro was doing.

He shrugged, but pulled another mug from the cupboard.

“Do you take sugar?” he asked, trying to sound as impersonal as humanly possible.

“Two spoons!” she said cheerfully. Goro sighed, but complied with her request.

As he carried the two mugs to the counter, Sakura seemed much happier, as if she figured something out. 

Goro dreaded the thought that he could be that very thing.

He sat at the counter, opening the box with sushi that was supposed to be his breakfast. Sakura seemed to busy herself with her tea, blowing at it, so Goro forced himself to also concentrate on food.

He was halfway through his sushi when Sakura finally spoke.

“I… I want to talk with you,” she admitted, putting her mug down.

Goro sighed, suddenly losing his appetite.

“Should we really?” he asked. “Nothing I can say to you will be good.”

Sakura just stared at him. They were sitting two seats apart, Goro seated in his usual spot both out of habit and because he hoped it would kill the conversation.

“Yes, this is exactly why we need to talk,” Sakura insisted. “I need to have this boss battle now, before the Phantom Thieves meeting.”

“Boss battle…” Goro muttered, shaking his head. He absently poked his sushi with chopsticks, not feeling like looking at Sakura. “I’m afraid I’m not up to serving as one.”

“That’s good!” Sakura decided immediately, sounding sincerely relieved. “I’m not up to it either!”

Goro was about to ask her if she was sure she wanted to have this talk, but then he saw her determined gaze and gave up.

He had been doing that a lot recently.

“Then hurry up before I change my mind,” he said grumpily, as he took a sip of his tea. He wasn’t sure what the hell was wrong with the whole of the adopted Sakura household, but they seemed to have a unique talent of getting to him.

“You… you are the Black Mask we’ve been hearing about?” she asked tentatively.

“Yes,” he muttered. He wanted to add something like _obviously_, but then he remembered that Sakura arrived too late to see Goro in his original outfit. While he was too busy coming to terms with the fact that he almost died to notice it at first, his outfit returned to the princely garb he usually wore after he had summoned Robin Hood to resurrect Kurusu. 

“Do you… do you actually wear a black mask?” she asked, visibly abandoning the question she originally wanted to ask.

“Yes, it looks even worse than the one I wear usually, before you ask,” he deadpanned. He must have been spending too much time with Kurusu—he was actually trying to lessen the tension with terrible jokes.

What did this world come to?

“It’s not that terrible,” Sakura said weakly.

“So you weren’t discussing how _tacky_ and _pretentious_ it looks so loudly just to be obnoxious?” he asked, doing his best to sound neutral.

Sakura froze.

“You heard that?” she asked in horror.

“That I look like _a reject from a third-rate singing idols game_? Yes, loud and clear,” he admitted, fuelled by a familiar feeling of pettiness. “Honestly, at least I don’t slander you within earshot! Did you ever hear me saying that you look like one of those crazy doomsday people who run around with tinfoil hats to shout about government conspiracies and the apocalypse? No.”

Sakura scrunched her face at him with a look of betrayal, as if he had just force-fed her a whole lemon.

“I’m starting to see why Akira thinks you have a sense of humor,” she said slowly, pulling a kitkat out of her bag. “It sounds like something he would find hilarious.”

“Yeah, because I’m such a delight to be around,” Goro said bitterly before forcefully stuffing a sushi into his mouth to shut himself up.

Apparently, he had yet to get back his filter.

As Goro choked on his sushi, struggling to swallow it against the bile in his throat, Futaba straightened herself a bit.

“It must be hard for you, huh,” she muttered, quietly. 

Goro was so surprised he actually managed to properly swallow the food, before he slowly looked at Sakura.

“What?” he asked eloquently, his throat feeling as if he had just eaten a piece of coarse paper instead of rice.

“I’ve been trying to figure this whole thing out. Why were you doing all those things in the first place? What made it worth it? Why you keep acting so tsundere now that we know stuff?”

“You know shit,” Goro hissed, as he drank his tea. Kurusu might have seen through Goro, but not Sakura. She only saw glimpses that shouldn’t be enough to give her a full picture.

“I might still be missing most of the stuff, but there’s one thing I do understand,” she announced, pausing to make sure Goro was listening. “_You feel guilty._”

Goro wanted to protest, but the confident way in which she said that gave him pause. He might have not known her for long, but Sakura rarely showed confidence in anything that didn’t involve technology, internet memes, or Featherman canon. Seeing her express herself so bluntly felt unnerving. 

She used that opportunity to strike.

“I’m pretty terrible at understanding other people, but that’s one of the few things I get. Feeling like you did something so terrible that the only thing you deserve is death,” she said in a voice that was far too casual for the heavy topic she mentioned. Goro felt himself tighten his hold on the mug. “I felt like that after my mom died.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Goro said strongly, before he could stop himself. The words seemed to stop time, as Sakura raised her head to stare at him, while Goro lowered his, trying not to look at her.

Sakura wasn’t Sakamoto, she must have understood the implication here. The admittance he had given to her. A rotten gift of truth, where one salvation came at the cost of another’s damnation.

Sakura couldn’t be at fault when the blood was on Goro’s hands.

“Could…” Sakura started, then paused in hesitation. Goro wondered if she was about to ask him to leave and never show himself before her, but she finished her sentence before he could suggest that. “Could you tell me about it?”

Goro froze. The request was equal parts unexpected and terrifying. He had never recounted his crimes to anyone. He imagined it sometimes. Telling the police. Explaining it to them impersonally, before he got whisked away into the prison.

He never imagined he would have to describe his sins to the family of his victim.

He attempted to drink from his mug, only to realize it was empty. As he rose from his seat, Sakura almost jumped, looking startled by his sudden movement.

“I will make more tea. Do you want some?” he asked, extending the hand so she could give him her mug. Sakura looked at him as if he grew an extra head, but then she quickly swallowed the rest of her tea and pushed the mug at him.

Goro took it and entered the kitchen. He could feel himself calm a bit as he poured water into the kettle and lit a fire underneath it. Those simple actions grounded him, as the thought hit him that there was no one here to harm him.

Leblanc was a safe place.

Some of the tension seemed to leave him at that thought. And, well, Sakura certainly deserved answers.

“I never met her properly,” he said, still looking at the kettle, rather than the girl behind him. “Wakaba Isshiki… I only met her Shadow, so I never got to know her properly.”

Sakura muttered something that he couldn’t hear.

“I… _I didn’t plan it_,” he admitted, and somehow that was the hardest part to get through, because after that the words seemed to just flow out of him like from a broken faucet. “It wasn’t supposed to be _a murder_… Just… I was supposed to just prove my powers by making her lose control. They just wanted to discredit her as a researcher, I think. I-I didn’t even know back then that if you timed it _right_ you could kill someone. It was… it wasn’t what I wanted…”

The words finally seemed to stop, but only because his throat tightened so much, Goro was almost choking. His eyes were stinging, warning him about the tears that seemed to be about to spill.

He was abruptly pulled out of his miserable state by the sharp whistle of a kettle. He clumsily turned the fire off, trying to remember where he put the mugs so he could make tea like a functional human being, rather than the emotional mess he had been since yesterday.

As he grasped for his mug, it slipped between his fingers and shattered into hundreds of pieces. Goro froze with his hand extended, staring at the destroyed mug. It felt profound somehow. Like one of those dazzling metaphors he would sometimes use during his interviews. Except this one wasn’t dazzling, but rather a heart-wrenching one you get at three in the morning when you can’t sleep and the weight of your solitude and sins makes you feel borderline suicidal.

Goro wasn’t sure how long he stood there staring at the floor like a moron, before someone gently bumped him. Goro turned around to see that it was Sakura, holding a broom, which she seemed to have just used to poke Goro from a safe distance.

“We… we should clean it,” she said, extending the broom toward him.

Goro obediently took the broom and started to sweep the fragments into a pile. It wasn’t long before they had cleaned the floor and threw the remains of the mug into the bin. While Sakura went to put the broom back, Goro finished making her tea.

She blinked at it.

“Weren’t you going to make one for yourself?” she asked.

Goro opened his bottle of aloe vera juice and drank from it.

“I think I’m going to wait for someone I can pay to not mess up making something so stupidly simple as tea,” he decided, as he took a seat at the booth. Sakura was still sitting at the counter, but turned around so she could see Goro.

“Don’t worry, Akira once managed to break five mugs at once when we were competing to see who can stack them higher,” Sakura reassured him.

“Should I feel grateful that I’m slightly less of a disaster in the kitchen or inadequate that I only broke one?” he asked, as he stared at the ceiling. Sakura made a thoughtful noise.

“Dunno. But I think you shouldn’t think so deeply about it. You can just buy a new mug. Sojiro gets them from the nearby shop,” she pointed out. It was nice that at least one of them could think rationally right now—and consider a mug to be just a mug instead of a fitting metaphor of how fucked up their life was.

“I guess,” Goro said just to fill the void. He was probably actively generating it considering how ever-present it felt. He must have been sucking up all the positive atmosphere in Leblanc like some sort of personified black hole, ever since Kurusu had dragged him here. 

Sakura was silent for a moment and Goro almost thought that it was the end of their awkward heart to heart, but he was quickly proven wrong.

“I… I’m not ready to forgive you yet,” Sakura admitted. Goro glanced at her.

“You shouldn’t,” he said honestly, because wasn’t that the truth?

“But I want to!” she insisted, standing up with a huff. “I don’t want to spend my life hating you!”

Goro was at a loss for words, mostly because a life of hatred and vengeance was in his book a perfectly justified way of living, despite being generally frowned upon by society.

“Why?” he asked, feeling a bit curious.

“Akira likes you and he’s almost like family to me, so it would make things awkward. Not to mention the more I talk with you the more I understand why he believes that you aren’t a bad guy,” Sakura admitted, returning to her seat. She dangled her legs from it. “A bad guy wouldn’t feel guilty about what happened to my mom.”

Goro opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it.

“Whatever. It’s your decision whether you hate me or not,” he finally said. “Feel free to do either. For the record, I think trusting me is a dumb idea.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Sakura admitted, swinging her legs even more. “That you have issues.”

Goro didn’t deign that with an answer. 

This time the silence they descended into felt a bit less tense than before.

*

Kurusu returned together with his guiding cat around noon, at which point Goro and Sakura were busy watching Featherman on the old TV.

To be exact, Sakura was watching Featherman, Goro was glancing from time to time to keep her company. That was all it was. Really. He definitely wasn’t doing something as foolish as being _invested_. 

“Oh, hey, good to see you are alive. And having a terrible taste in TV shows as always,” Kurusu greeted them as he entered. He glanced at Akechi. “I see that this is where my hoodie went.”

“I’m not going to parade around the neighbourhood in my usual clothes when I’m trying to keep a low profile,” Goro deadpanned, annoyed that Kurusu had to interrupt them during the final fight of the episode.

The nerve of that asshole.

“He has a point,” Morgana said, getting out of the bag. “We don’t want to draw attention to ourselves.”

It was nice that at least the cat was willing to back him up.

“Yeah, but I don’t think Akira is getting that hoodie back anytime soon,” Futaba said absently, her eyes still glued to the TV. “Unless he has a crowbar.”

“Very funny,” Goro said, his voice overflowing with irony.

The ending song started playing from the TV, as the credits rolled through the screen. Futaba was now humming along with the song.

“I like that hoodie,” Kurusu said in a feeble attempt to regain his article of clothing.

“That’s your problem,” Goro pointed out. “I was already forced to buy a whole set of new clothes to accommodate your whimsical decision to have me stay here. I’m sure you can spare your guest at least one hoodie in this situation,” he said in honeyed voice, as if it was a perfectly valid request and not Goro being overly possessive.

Sakura snickered, while Morgana seemed to be shaking his head in disbelief. Kurusu just looked torn.

“Fine, just make sure to give it back later,” he finally said in a flippant voice, as though he hadn’t been agonizing over the decision seconds ago.

“Of course,” Goro agreed easily, because _later_ could constitute very long periods of time and Goro hadn’t mastered manipulating people with words for nothing. “When will be the meeting?” he asked, changing the topic before Kurusu could specify the timeframe in which he wanted the hoodie returned.

“In the afternoon,” Kurusu replied, taking a seat next to Futaba. “Haru has some important business meeting, so she couldn’t find time earlier. Plus Ann had a photoshoot already planned for today.”

“I see,” Goro said, deciding not to voice the thought that he would much rather not have Okumura attend this particular meeting. “I’m sure everyone will be thrilled.”

“For sure, Akira has been cryptic about the entire thing,” Futaba said, chewing on one of the snacks. “Expect a lot of drama.”

“Yeah, because my life hadn’t been dramatic enough with my double life,” Goro deadpanned. He sighed. “Do you actually have a plan or are you going to improvise as always?”

“I can’t seem to imagine the scenario beyond Haru pulling out an axe out of her handbag and brutally murdering both of us,” Kurusu admitted.

“Honestly, I should have expected you to make my attempt at saving your life completely worthless in less than twenty four hours,” Goro pointed out. He looked gloomily into his empty mug. “At least Reaper would make this quick.”

“Akira, make him coffee so he stops being so depressed,” Sakura requested, then added mockingly, “Fill the existential void in his body with black nectar.”

Goro felt like protesting, but at the same time it was nice that someone actually understood his needs. Silently, he handed Kurusu his mug.

“I will need to tell Boss he made an addict out of you,” Kurusu deadpanned, but took Goro’s mug and obediently moved behind the counter.

“This is my healthiest coping mechanism. I would appreciate it if you didn’t piss all over it,” Goro admitted in a bout of honesty that he immediately regretted.

Luckily, Kurusu didn’t have a verbal retort and simply added an extra espresso shot into Goro’s coffee.

*

No matter how much Goro dreaded the upcoming fallout within the ranks of Phantom Thieves, he was still forced to take part in it. Not that someone was physically forcing him. He _needed_ to know what they would decide. He _needed_ to play along to ensure his own safety. He _wanted_...

...like it was important what he wanted.

Goro pushed himself into the far corner of the bed, which was usually occupied by Sakura. The girl herself didn’t seem to care, claiming the part of bed closer to table and typing something on her laptop. Goro was curious what it was, but he didn’t want to test the limits of her goodwill, so he kept to himself as they waited. 

Kurusu wasn’t with them, waiting downstairs with Morgana for other Thieves to arrive.

“You seem anxious,” Sakura noted, not moving her eyes away from the laptop. She was probably attempting to make small talk.

“Kurusu is an outlier. I do not expect other Thieves to have any sort of warm feelings for me,” Goro admitted. He shuddered, feeling much colder without the hoodie. Wearing Kurusu’s clothes would send a message to other Thieves that he wasn’t comfortable with, so he wasn’t wearing it.

Not that his BAD BOY shirt wasn’t extremely ironic given the situation, but at least it didn’t suggest that he was giving the reins of his fate to Akira just because…

...to Kurusu. Dammit, did he even remember how it was to have personal borders? Or did he crave Kurusu’s warmth so much that he was willing to sell his body and soul for it?

“It won’t be that bad, I think… Ryuji will shout a lot and… well, make sure to swear at least once. We have a bet going on and—”

“I told you I don’t fucking care—”

“That’s the spirit!”

Goro was about to tell her some few more choice words, since she seemed so intent to hear all the profanities he could provide, but was interrupted by a loud shout.

“Dude, what is _he_ doing here?!” Ryuji asked with the usual amount of subtlety and tact.

“Sitting,” Sakura said, without moving her eyes away from the monitor.

“It’s so nice to hear you are as happy to see me as I am to see you,” Goro deadpanned. He pulled his legs closer to his chest, like he wanted to make himself look smaller.

There was a moment of silence as Ryuji processed that sentence.

“Did he just insult me?” he asked, turning to Takamaki and Kitagawa who just joined him upstairs.

“He just returned the pleasantries,” Takamaki explained, visibly not wanting to be a part of potential pissing contest. “Nice to see you, Akechi. Did Akira invite you?” she asked. She was trying to sound natural, but the anxiety was spilling out of the cracks between her words.

“Maybe… Does being forced to spend a night somewhere count as an invitation or extortion?” Goro asked idly.

“That… that would depend on context,” Takamaki answered, her smile faltering a bit. Still, Goro wanted to give her points for trying.

“Forced? Spend the night? What the hell?”

“I’m sure Kurusu will have the time of his life explaining that one,” Goro assured them.

At that point Okumura, Niijima and Kurusu joined them upstairs. Judging by the unimpressed expressions the girls had, Goro’s prediction was pretty on point.

*

“I’m glad everyone could make it today,” Kurusu said, obviously stalling before having to admit how much he fucked up. “I’m sorry to call you all on such short notice, but—”

“Before that,” Niijima interrupted him. “I was under the impression that Akechi couldn’t attend the meeting.”

“You wound me, Niijima,” Akechi deadpanned from his corner. When she turned towards him, Goro threw her a lopsided grin. “Oh, don’t mind me, I’m sure once our illustrious leader finishes explaining how much of an idiot he is, this whole situation will make sense to you.”

He could almost feel the consternation rise among the Phantom Thieves at that blatant challenge of authority.

“You are not helping,” Kurusu complained, but there was no bite in his voice. 

“What? You need me to hold your hand or something?” Goro asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Kurusu made a face like he wanted to say something, but then remembered he actually had a reputation to hold, so he merely shook his head.

“I feel like I’m missing something,” Kitagawa mused out loud.

“Don’t mind Akechi, he’s just sulking,” Sakura said, deciding to move the conversation along. “And stop stalling, Akira,” she huffed, throwing him a glance.

“Sorry,” he muttered, visibly deflating. “I guess there’s no easy way to say it, but ummmmm… I may have told Akechi that we know he is a traitor, and then we fought, and I may have almost died, because Reaper stabbed me, but then Akechi decided to save me and the point is he actually admitted he is working for Masayoshi Shido, so maybe we could try to get him to cooperate and—”

“Wait, you told him?!” Niijima hollered.

“You almost died?!” Takamaki gasped.

“You want to work with him?!” Okumura protested.

Goro glanced at the pack of snacks Sakura was emptying.

“Can I have some?” he asked.

“Sure, nothing like salty snacks to get you through drama,” Sakura said with a sigh, moving the pack closer to Goro.

Meanwhile, Kurusu managed to calm down the crowd, which in practice meant that Niijima was the only one shouting at him.

“So you chased Akechi into Mementos and then just told him _everything_?!” 

“Not really everything…” Kurusu argued. “I still haven't told him what exactly we were planning to do about the whole killing me plan…”

“What do you mean _still_?! Besides, just because he saved your life once—”

“Excuse me, but it was at least three times,” Goro piped up, because at this point he was keeping a count.

“You saved his life three times?” Kitagawa repeated in disbelief.

“Life is ironic like that,” Goro admitted.

“Come on, he’s clearly lying,” Sakamoto argued.

“Wait, one was yesterday, and the other was the Big Bang Burger… when was the third?” Morgana asked, as he jumped onto the table.

“When that idiot almost drowned in Inokashira lake,” Goro explained.

“Wait, you almost drowned?!” Morgana asked, turning towards Kurusu. “You told me you just fell into the lake and got wet?!”

Kurusu was almost burning from shame.

“I didn’t want to admit I almost died twice in a week,” he said, not looking at his cat.

“You idiot!” Morgana shouted at him.

“How do we know Akechi’s not lying?” Okumura said, still suspicious.

“Yesterday Akechi almost died saving him,” Sakura said, finally finding an opening in the conversation. “I can confirm it without a doubt that he wasted his only chance at escaping Reaper to rez Akira.”

Silence feel as everyone tried to wrap their heads around that information.

“So what does that mean?” Sakamoto asked.

“That he’s the lousiest assassin ever,” Sakura replied.

Goro didn’t deign that with an answer, just chewed on Sakura’s snacks in annoyance. He didn’t want to argue the exact scope of his work when Okumura was still busy staring at him with barely hidden hatred, and Sakura was right next to him.

See? He could be accommodating when he wanted to be.

“Look, I don’t understand why you are so invested in Akechi, but you can’t just use our group to help the enemy. It would be unprecedented and—”

“Actually, we already did,” Takamaki said, glancing between Kurusu and Niijima. “Since we are already pulling out all the dirt, this is as good as any place to admit it… Remember that time shortly after the school trip when Akira pulled us through Mementos to help a friend with school project?”

“Wait, but didn’t he say that he could fail the grade?”

“He colorized a bit,” Morgana admitted.

“Wait you are telling me that we spent _hours_ in Mementos to help Akechi get a better grade?!” Niijima asked in disbelief.

“Look, I know how that sounds, but it was partially my fault that Akechi didn’t get to finish that project, since he kind of caught a cold after pulling me out of the lake and I couldn’t just leave him like that…” Kurusu admitted.

Niijima just facepalmed.

“Sometimes I wonder how our group even got so far,” she admitted, shaking her head at their questionable leadership.

“I’ve been asking myself that ever since I realized how much of a disaster Kurusu is,” Goro agreed.

“I’ve been meaning to ask. You seem awfully familiar with Akira,” Kitagawa noted. “It feels like you’ve been acquainted for quite some time.”

“Hoo boy,” Takamaki said in exasperation.

“Seconding that,” Sakura said. “Hoo boy, indeed.”

“We’ve been keeping in contact ever since we met at the TV station,” Goro said innocently, perfectly aware of the giant can of worms he was opening. “You know. Since June.”

He could see Niijima open her mouth, but no sound coming out, as she silently repeated what Goro just said. Kitagawa was thoughtful, but mostly seemed satisfied with getting an answer. Okumura froze, both her body and expression stiffening upon that revelation.

Sakura, Takamaki and Morgana were the only ones utterly unsurprised by that revelation.

“What the heeeeelllllllll?!” Sakamoto asked eloquently. “You’ve been hanging out with Akechi in secret since then?”

“It’s not like I wanted to make a secret out of it,” Kurusu said, visibly sulking. “But Mona kept being very worried about Akechi finding out who I am, and I just… I didn’t want to give up on it, but I also didn’t want to worry the whole team.”

“Well, to be fair, he told me,” Takamaki said, deciding to come to the rescue of her leader. “At the end of July.”

“And you didn’t tell him to stop?!” Niijima snapped.

“Look, he came to me as a friend, trusting that I wouldn’t sell him out,” Takamaki argued. “And honestly, even if I told him, it wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“Hard agree,” Sakura said, deciding to support Takamaki. “I mean, Mona wasn’t able to discourage him, and he’s like eighty percent of Akira’s conscience.”

“Why do you know so much about this, Futaba?” Niijima questioned.

Sakura deflated a bit.

“Well, remember how I hacked Akira’s phone to contact you for the first time and… uhhh… I might have stolen his chat logs while I was at it, because his phone’s security was a joke and… Damn, can you imagine discovering that the leader of the Phantom Thieves has an extensive chat log with the very detective who’s investigating them?! _Of course I had to check them out!_”

There was an awkward silence. Sakura seemed to realize she had gotten ahead. She coughed.

“I mean, I’ve stopped reading them since then. So Akira’s privacy is safe. Mostly. I still run filter so I can check your two am Featherman meta, Akechi,” she admitted awkwardly, hiding her face in a sleeve of her jacket. “Your rants on Black were something else.”

Goro could feel his ears burn. Knowing that Sakura had seen his conversations with Kurusu was one thing, knowing that she apparently liked his occasional rants on Featherman was another.

“I… It was just a bit of vent,” he said, feeling embarrassed. Kurusu had admitted at one point that a hacker stole his chat logs, but somehow Goro never connected the dots to realize it was Sakura.

“No, no, it was more than just a vent. You made me feel like I still had to learn a lot about Featherman. I have a lot of respect for that,” Sakura announced.

Goro tried to protest, but gave up halfway through.

“I… whatever…” he finished awkwardly. He was pretty sure all the Phantom Thieves were staring at him, so he made sure to avoid any possible eye contact by turning towards the wall.

There seemed to be a bit of consternation behind him, but Goro kept himself turned away.

“Actually, Futaba, you seem quite… open with Akechi,” Makoto said, obviously having an awkward realization that Sakura was having surprisingly little trouble interacting with the person responsible for her mother’s death.

“Uhhh, we had a bit of a talk earlier…” Sakura admitted, starting to sound overwhelmed with the situation. Kurusu seemed to be as shocked as everyone else.

“You, did?” he asked in disbelief. Sakura merely nodded in response.

“And I… I support Akira’s plan,” she raised her voice, as if she had to force herself a bit to admit it. “I… I’ve been thinking a lot about ever since the whole blackmail thing and I wasn’t really sure how I should feel about it…”

“Futaba,” Makoto said gently, as if trying to calm down her friend, but Sakura wasn’t done.

“But then I finally gathered my courage and talked with him… and I’m still angry about what he did, but at the same time… I think he’s also a victim in this whole mess…”

Goro could feel his fist tighten. A part of him wanted to shout at Sakura that she was wrong. 

He _wasn’t_ a victim. He _was_ a monster.

“You are stupid.” Was all Goro said in the end.

“Yeah, yeah, I heard that already,” she dismissed him, like he was an annoying bug.

He turned himself just enough to glance at Phantom Thieves. They were looking at him and Sakura in stunned silence.

“Wait, so you two are serious about wanting to work with Akechi?” Sakamoto finally asked, as if he couldn’t quite accept reality before his eyes.

“Yes, I had some doubts, but after yesterday I’m also leaning towards Akira’s plan,” Morgana answered him.

“I don’t like it,” Niijima said, her voice annoyed. “The fact that half of our group had been keeping a secret of such importance. I thought our decisions were supposed to be unanimous!” she said accusingly, turning towards Kurusu. 

“Yes, which is exactly why I’m coming clean right now,” Kurusu replied evenly, having regained his composure. “I’m not going to force anyone to help me do this palace.”

“You make it sound like you are going to invade his palace with or without everyone else’s approval,” Niijima replied, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Yes. That being said I’m fine with Sae’s palace being the last mission of Phantom Thieves. If you think it’s a misuse of our powers or that it’s against what Phantom Thieves stand for I will gladly disband our team once we are finished with Niijima’s palace.” Kurusu’s voice was serious, but serene, as he announced that.

Most of the group looked shocked at that, looking between each other as if they wanted to make sure they heard wrong.

“You want to disband us?” Sakamoto shouted in disbelief.

“That’s a rather rash decision,” Kitagawa pointed out.

“I don’t want to, but Phantom Thieves were created with our collective effort and I don’t need to tarnish their name for my selfish reasons. And I can assure you I thought about this a lot. Almost dying does wonders for helping you reevaluate your life,” Kurusu replied to their questions, adding a bit of dark humor at the end.

“I see. So that’s it,” Niijima muttered with sudden understanding. “It’s not like you want to disband our group… You just don’t care if it continues on as long as you can get to Shido.”

Goro snapped his head toward her, as Niijima’s words caught his attention. He had just assumed that Akira was pushing for this because of his selflessness, but if she was right— 

“That’s correct. You are really sharp, Makoto,” Kurusu admitted. He took a deep breath as if wondering how to explain himself. “You remember the drunk guy who was forcing himself on a woman, then pushed fake charges on me when I tried to help her, and is the whole reason why I had to come to Tokyo on probation? That’s him. I went to a rally today to see Shido for myself and I recognized him. He’s that guy.”

“He’s that guy?!” Sakamoto repeated in disbelief, but other than him everyone was quiet. The revelation seemed to leave everyone contemplative.

Except for Goro. He tried to keep quiet like everyone else, but he couldn’t. It was as if something squeezed his insides, forcing the sound out of him. The laughter started quietly, but quickly grew in intensity, until Goro was cackling like crazy.

It wasn’t even his TV approved laugh. No, it was the ugly wheezing sound, but Goro couldn’t care less.

He was half aware of other Phantom Thieves staring at him, but it didn’t matter. 

“What do you find so funny?” Niijima asked aggressively.

“This is just… too fucking hilarious,” Goro admitted between the chuckles. “I never imagined... that the guy you were talking about… that it would be Shido?! What are the odds?! Hahahahaha…” 

“Akechi, are you okay?” Takamaki asked, sounding genuinely confused. Sakura muttered something to herself as she tried to pretend that Goro wasn’t shaking from laughter next to her.

“This is great… I knew it… This is fate, after all…” Goro was on his feet before he knew it. The Phantom Thieves looked startled, but Goro didn't pay them any mind. His eyes were fixed on Kurusu.

“Fate?” Okumura parroted in confusion. Goro ignored her.

“I've been planning to let you deal with Shido's palace alone. I don't really care about your righteous act, but if it's like that… _then I can help you!_” Goro said, stopping right next to Kurusu. “Make a deal with me!”

There were gasps of disbelief from somewhere, but Goro tuned them out completely. He just kept looking straight at Kurusu.

“What are your terms?” Kurusu asked, bearing Goro's gaze like it was nothing.

“I want you to take me with you, so I can be there when you take that asshole down. In return I will follow your lead just like I have been until now.”

“That's it?” Niijima asked skeptically.

“Yes. I don’t care whether you disband or not. Or what you do after we are done. You are even free to turn me in once we are finished with Shido,” Goro announced, giving Niijima a passing glance. His gaze, however, quickly returned to Kurusu, as an extremely wide smile split his face. “You must admit those are some pretty good conditions.”

“How do we know you are not going to double cross us?” Kitagawa asked. Goro clicked his tongue, but then realized that he was feeling magnanimous.

“I guess I could give you a freebie,” he decided, taking Kurusu's phone before anyone could stop him. He had figured how to unlock it a long time ago, so he had no trouble accessing the Metaverse app on Kurusu’s phone. “Masayoshi Shido, Diet Building, Ship.”

“Match found!” the phone chirped, and Goro unceremoniously dropped the phone into Kurusu's hand. Kurusu juggled the phone for a second like it was a hot potato, before he secured it.

“Well, now that I literally gave you the entrance to his subconsciousness, can we assume that I'm more interested in betraying him than you?” he proposed.

His words seemed to cause silence. Goro was feeling pretty victorious until someone spoke up.

“If… If he is to join Phantom Thieves, then I’m afraid I can’t stay anymore,” Okumura announced. Her voice was shaking slightly, but her eyes were steely.

Her words were like a cold breeze, forcing everyone in the room to pay attention. The Phantom Thieves looked at each other, as if they weren’t sure how to react. Kurusu seemed to be the only one unsurprised by that development.

“I understand. Does anyone else want to say something before I make a decision?” he asked levelly.

“What are you saying, Haru has just…” Niijima started, but Kurusu gave her a cold look that made her stop mid-sentence.

“She made her point,” he interrupted her. “Do you have something to say for yourself?”

His voice was by no means hostile, but it was painfully direct. It was obvious that Kurusu was not messing around.

“No,” Niijima muttered, sounding like she was in pain.

“Anybody else?” Kurusu asked, but nobody raised their voice. 

He nodded and then turned toward Goro, who was still standing next to him. Goro’s hand was extended slightly. Kurusu was looking at it. It was obvious that he was still weighing his options, but at some point he raised his hand. 

Goro remained still, watching how the uncertainty left Kurusu with each second.

When he finally clutched Goro’s hand there was no hesitation in his grip.

“I accept your deal,” he said.

That moment shouldn’t have felt as profound. As _intimate_. But it did. It was as if some sort of power swelled from inside, filling him with fire and strength that he hadn’t experienced until now. It felt great. Almost like the first time when he awakened his powers. The rush of magic and control he had futilely tried to recreate since then. They were now united in the pursuit of the same goal, their destinies twisted together even more tightly than before.

Kurusu could feel it too. It was clear by the distant look in his eyes. Goro only smiled wider at that.

He was right. His intuition had been right all along. _They were the same._

“I look forward to working with you, _Akira_,” he assured, his voice low and pleased.

Akira merely nodded, seemingly at a loss for words.

Unfortunately, reality wasn’t about to let Goro enjoy the moment, because there was a commotion to his left and when Goro turned his head, he caught sight of Okumura disappearing down the stairs.

He almost expected Akira to let go of his hand to chase her, but he didn’t. He remained in place, as Niijima and Sakamoto ran after her. He truly made up his mind.

Goro wanted to say something cynical, but he couldn’t bring himself to, when Akira’s warm hand felt like the first sliver of hope he had grasped in a long time.

*

There wasn’t much of a meeting after that—the remaining Phantom Thieves agreed that they needed time to process what had happened, and that they would rather have a meeting with the people who were currently missing.

Akira seemed to weather their confusion and disappointment surprisingly well.

When Goro was about to leave too, Akira grasped his hand.

“Stay,” he said quietly, but insistently.

Goro wanted to say he was above such things as cute black-haired boys insisting to have him in their life, but he definitely wasn’t.

He stayed.

Morgana left too, which suggested that Akira was planning this from the start. Goro wasn’t sure if he was annoyed or flattered by that.

His skin still tingled with the promise of protection and power, ever since Akira grasped his hand.

“See, it didn’t go so bad,” Akira said.

“You lost a member,” Goro pointed out.

“I know. But she will manage. We got her out of the worst of it. And even if she isn’t a Phantom Thief, the others will still be her friends,” Akira said. He sounded more like he was trying to persuade himself rather than Goro. “Since I don’t think she will want to interact with me.”

“I’m sure they will. They take after you when it comes to not minding their business,” Goro assured him, because somehow it was more difficult to be his usual biting self right now. 

It was strange to navigate this new reality of actually opening himself up to Akira. Goro couldn’t deny it now. Even if he still hadn’t told him everything, he had accepted Akira as the person he would share his vengeance with. The only other person he would let enact justice on Shido.

Apparently, in all eighteen years of Goro’s life, the only thing his asshole of a dad proved to be useful for was making Goro bond with someone over how much they both hated him for messing up their lives.

It didn’t make up for all the missed birthdays, but it sure made the whole situation amusingly ironic.

“Wow, were you just actually nice to me?” Akira asked in fake astonishment.

“I can stop, if it’s bothering you so much,” Goro offered in his deadpan voice.

“And he’s back, ladies and gentlemen, the snarkiest detective, Goro Akechi!” Akira announced loudly, before hiding his mouth in the palm of his hand to stifle his laughter.

“Did you actually have any business with me or do you want to enjoy more of my shining personality to satisfy your masochistic tendencies?” Goro asked, as he leaned against the wall.

Akira sighed, as he shook his head.

“Please, don’t call me out like that before the team. Ryuji is still under the illusion that I’m cool.”

“Don’t worry, I will make sure to torment him with other things,” Goro promised, feeling pretty charitable.

“I’m afraid to ask,” Akira admitted. “Just please, don’t corrupt him too much. He’s the purest member we have right after Morgana.”

“I’m surprised your cat retained any purity after living with _you_,” Goro deadpanned. It was nice to be back to the old routine. Exchanging the snarky comments... except now Goro didn’t have to censor himself. He could make all the dirty jokes he wanted without worrying about breaking the character.

A definite improvement, if he could say so himself.

“Hey, I can show restraint!” Akira argued, as a pout appeared on his face.

He looked stupidly adorable like that.

Goro froze, as he realized that the fact that he stopped restraining himself as much as he did, also meant that he had much less control over his emotions and thoughts when he was alone with Akira.

Well, shit.

“Yes, your self-control yesterday was incredible,” Goro deadpanned, because he could at least hide his fondness behind the familiar wall of derision.

Akira dramatically fell to his knees while clutching his heart. He made a loud gasp as if he had been struck.

“Are you done messing around?” Goro asked after a second, because even Akira wasn’t dedicated enough to his antics to roll on the dirty floor of the attic.

“You seemed to enjoy it,” Akira pointed out, as he got up and brushed off his knees.

The kind of messing around Goro would enjoy much more included Akira using his mouth for things different than talking, but Goro wasn’t about to admit that loud.

“Whatever, just get to the issue,” he muttered, deciding to ruin the mood while he could.

Akira looked a bit disappointed as he sat down on one of the chairs.

“So, uh, I guess… I’m glad you decided to work with us after all,” Akira started slightly awkwardly.

“With you, mostly,” Goro rectified and immediately regretted it, because the look Akira gave him made him feel way too warm. “I don’t think anyone other than Sakura really shares my goal as much as you do,” he quickly explained.

It didn’t make Goro any less of a gay disaster, but he could at least pretend it was all about his vengeance.

It definitely _used to be_ all about his vengeance before Akira entered the picture.

“So, I don’t want to push, but… uh, would you be willing to tell me more about what led to this whole mess?” Akira asked, making a hand gesture as if to futilely attempt to encompass the whole of Goro’s fucked up life.

Goro considered it this time. Before, the idea felt so terrifying he would rather die, but after almost dying yesterday his priorities seemed to have shifted quite a bit.

“Not today,” he finally said. “It’s a lot, so I—”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Akira said quickly, as if he was the unreasonable one. “It doesn’t have to be today, I just… Knowing you are willing to talk about it at some point is enough,” Akira admitted, lowering his head.

Goro blinked, because it looked a bit as if Akira was hiding a blush, but that couldn’t be it. Right?

“Anyway, I’m glad you will stay a bit longer,” Akira announced happily.

“Excuse me?” Goro asked, because he had just agreed to work with Akira, not to become his new roommate to share the misery of living in his stupid attic. They should at least move to Goro’s flat… though then again it was technically Shido’s so that might not have been the best idea— 

No, wait, why was he even considering that?

“You are staying the night today too, aren’t you?” Akira asked, as if his unbridled enthusiasm could convince Goro.

“I…” Goro stuttered, because he knew he shouldn’t, but the idea was tempting and despite all the anxiety it caused him in the morning, sharing bed with someone was _really nice_.

“Please, it’s getting really cold and you are warm,” Akira asked, and Goro wanted to tell him to buy a damn heater if that was the case, but at the same time he definitely liked the idea of being preferred to a heater. It was starting to be a real dilemma.

“We can watch movies together. Or play some games,” Akira continued and Goro could feel himself slowly losing the battle.

“Oh, fine,” Goro agreed, because he’d rather give in than experience a meltdown from getting way more affection than he was used to.

“Great! Let’s start by taking a bath!”

“What?” Goro asked, but it was too late for protests.

*

Akira Kurusu was an actual devil who was created for the sole purpose of bringing some new sort of damnation on Goro.

That was the only explanation Goro had for the fact that Akira actually managed to drag him to the bathhouse. 

It was a terrible idea, mostly because Goro was barely managing to maintain his composure when interacting with a fully-clothed Akira now, and he sure didn’t feel ready to see him half naked.

He wondered if Akira actually planned this. It seemed like something he could do, especially because Morgana also left them alone today. Still, Goro wasn’t about to lose. If Akira reached the point of desperation where he used a thinly-veiled ploy like that to get Goro naked then maybe everything was going in Goro’s favour after all. 

Still, changing clothes proved to be difficult, as both of them continued to pretend they weren’t staring.

It was annoying, because it was painfully obvious what was going on, but at the same time neither of them could bring himself to openly oogle the other in semi-public space like this. There wasn’t anyone else in the changing room right now, but someone _could_ enter at any moment and that was enough to make them both limit themselves to secretive glances.

Part of Goro wondered if he really could last, as he peeked at Akira’s bare chest.

Akira managed to almost trip a second later, when he tried to sneak a glance at Goro at the same time as he was taking off his briefs under the towel. 

Maybe Goro wasn’t faring as bad as he feared.

*

Unsurprisingly, there were people in the bath. Three older men and one middle aged one. It seemed most people who visited were the older residents.

Somehow the presence of unknown people seemed to help Goro remember how to be his inoffensive self. He could almost feel the snap of the familiar mask falling in place.

Goro and Akira politely sat down to scrub themselves. They only had one sponge, so Goro let Akira have it, instead using his hands to spread the soap over himself. They washed themselves in silence, until Akira suddenly stood up.

“Come on, I will wash your back,” Akira offered and Goro didn’t even have an opportunity to protest. Akira was already leaning over him, brushing his back with the sponge.

“You seem to be enjoying this,” Goro realized, because he really wasn’t sure how he got himself into the situation where Akira was visibly excited at the prospect of washing his back.

“Of course I am,” Akira said. “You like this sort of domestic thing.”

“Domestic thing…?” Goro repeated, because he wasn’t really sure what Akira was implying.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice. You get stupidly happy whenever you get involved in domestic stuff. You know, that make you feel like part of a family,” Akira pointed out, as he rinsed Goro’s back with water. Goro could feel the tips of his ears turn red.

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” he denied, because it was something way too embarrassing to admit out loud. He glanced at the people sitting in the bath, but luckily it seemed that they didn’t hear their exchange.

“Come on, don’t think so much, just relax a bit,” Akira said, as he used the sponge against Goro’s back. Goro immediately tensed in response.

“Do you take all the teammates to have a bath with you?” Goro asked, trying to somehow normalize this strange situation in his mind.

“I took Ryuji with me once after he spilled juice on himself,” Akira recounted. “But other than that, not really.” He paused, as he noticed the grimace on Goro’s face. “What? Aren’t you enjoying the special treatment?” he asked with a wink.

Goro quickly turned his head away, so that he wouldn’t see Akira.

“Shouldn’t the leader be impartial?” Goro asked.

Akira chuckled.

“You literally shouted at me yesterday that I was too busy being a perfect leader to act on my desires,” he pointed out. “And now that I do, you criticize me for that.”

Goro didn’t have a good answer for his own hypocrisy, so he shut up and let Akira do his thing. Admittedly, he was done soon, probably because it wasn’t really all that time-consuming an activity.

“Want to clean my back too?” Akira offered.

Goro almost wanted to say no to him, but then sighed in defeat.

“Fine, fine, I will return the favour,” he promised, mostly because he was sure Akira would nag him later about it, if he didn’t give in now.

Besides, maybe, just maybe, Akira had a point about the whole domestic stuff.

Goro tried not to feel anxious as he leaned over Akira’s back with a sponge, because there was a lot of bare Akira before him. Not to mention seeing Akira show his back to Goro, when he knew that Goro had been planning to kill him was…

Goro started to scrub Akira’s back more frantically, hoping to finish quickly, because his thoughts were going to go astray again if he didn’t hurry.

“Wow, someone enjoys being rough,” Akira muttered, very obviously going for that double entendre.

Goro just took a bucket and wordlessly poured cold water all over Akira.

*

The bath was the true challenge.

By the time they got into it, only one older man remained. Others had already left, making the whole thing feel much more intimate than it would have been otherwise.

“Ah, nothing relaxes you like a nice warm bath,” Akira said to fill the awkward silence.

Goro blinked at him. Then he remembered he shouldn’t look too much because the last thing he needed was to be caught staring.

“Maybe. Personally, I find drinking warm tea or coffee more relaxing,” Goro admitted. The feeling of warmth spreading from within was more satisfying than being warmed from the outside.

“Oh, really? So that’s what made you into a coffeeholic?”

“You can’t get addicted to coffee like it’s alcohol. While caffeine dependence is well documented, it does not transform into addiction, Akira,” Goro corrected him automatically.

“You are just saying that,” Akira accused him.

“You can google it, if you want,” Goro replied with a shrug. Akira pouted at him in response.

Their conversation got interrupted, as the man sharing the bath with them got up and slowly left towards the changing room, leaving Goro and Akira completely alone.

Well, shit.

The change was pretty palpable as Akira shifted in his spot and suddenly Goro was very aware that it was Joker before him, rather than Akira.

The shy glances were gone in favour of a confident stare, and a slight smirk played on his lips, as the leader of Phantom Thieves seemed to relish in the sudden privacy they were granted.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” he asked nonchalantly.

“As much as possible in current circumstances,” Goro replied warily.

Akira chuckled, as if it was funny.

“Come on, drop the act, there’s no one here to play the detective prince for,” Akira pointed out.

Goro wanted to curse. It was quite unfair for Akira to don the mask while expecting Goro to take off his. Such unreasonable demand…

“I like to repay the honesty in kind,” Goro replied, but the warm water was making it hard for him to remain as sharp as he usually was. Hopefully, it was the same for Akira.

“But I am honest,” Akira replied easily. “It’s easier for me to be honest like that.”

“Really?” Goro asked, not hiding the doubt in his voice. It was ridiculous how difficult it was for Goro to read Akira when he was sitting pretty much bare before him. You would think there would be no way for him to hide anything. From the small scratches on his body to damp locks of his hair, Goro could see it all.

The reverse was also true, making Goro feel very self-conscious.

“Maybe I should have mentioned it earlier… It’s not like I hate when you do the whole detective prince routine.”

“That’s not the impression I got,” Goro interrupted, not hiding the bitterness in his voice.

“Yes, which is why I’m saying it now,” Akira replied, looking him straight in the eye. “I only dislike it when you use it to hide your feelings from me.”

“That’s…” Goro started, but it was hard to find a good excuse when Akira was looking straight at him like that. “It’s not about you.”

“I know,” Akira replied confidently. “That’s why I’m making it about me.”

Okay, so maybe Goro had actually unwittingly created a monster.

“Quite bold of you,” Goro replied to buy himself time.

“I haven’t even started being bold,” Akira pointed out, raising slightly to lean toward Goro.

Goro could feel his pulse quicken, as he tried to subtly move away from Akira. They shouldn’t… Not _here_...

Goro stood up abruptly and Akira froze in surprise.

“I think that’s enough soaking up for me,” Goro announced, before swiftly leaving the bath. Akira tried to follow him, but he almost tripped in his haste which bought Goro enough time to reach the changing room.

Akira must have realized that unlike Goro he also had to collect his bathing supplies, so when he finally caught up to him, Goro was already mostly dressed.

Akira was avoiding looking him in the eyes, which was good, because Goro was already rattled enough by what just happened.

“Sorry,” Akira said, as pulled out his shirt.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Goro replied automatically.

“I thought…” Akira started, but his voice died and he didn’t finish.

They finished dressing up in silence.

*

“I’m not mad,” Goro said as they left the bathing house. Akira seemed to need a moment to process that, as Goro only realized after taking a few steps that he had left the Phantom Thieves’ Leader behind.

“You aren’t?” he asked dumbly.

“No, I’m not,” Goro confirmed. Suddenly something hit his cheek. He narrowed his eyes as he looked angrily at the sky. It couldn’t be…

Another few drops hit him, confirming his suspicions.

“We should hide!” Akira said, having the same realization as Goro, and both of them dived towards the small building with the laundromat. It was a sound decision, since as soon as they hid the rain got stronger.

Leblanc was close, but neither of them seemed to want to risk getting their hair wet again, as they just stood inside looking at the falling rain. The small room filled with washing machines was otherwise empty. Akira moved and then almost tripped on a bottle that some drunk must have left there. The bottle fell with a clatter, splashing the remaining alcohol onto the floor, while Goro moved forward to catch Akira.

“Watch ou—”

All the sound other than the falling rain and ringing of the rolling bottle seemed to have ceased, as Goro managed to catch Akira into his arms, only to realize that their faces were in fact _very, very close_.

Goro wanted to do something. Say something. But his body was frozen and his lips unable to form a sentence. Akira just stared at him, as if Goro had just saved his life instead of his pretty flat, but passable, ass, and maybe Goro should get his act together because this line of thought was _really_ not helping.

“Goro,” Akira whispered in a way that came off way too intimate.

Well, at least one of them could get a word out. And apparently move, because Akira regained his balance, but didn’t let go of Goro. In fact, it felt like he moved even closer, and Goro wanted to point out that this is a really terrible idea, but his body was still refusing to take orders.

Maybe... 

Maybe this was okay…

This damp laundry room, this situation... it should have felt awful, but it wasn’t that bad. It was almost soothing, in fact, Goro thought. He watched Akira angle his head slightly before slowly moving it forward, as if giving Goro a chance to stop whatever was happening. It was okay. This dark room, the rhythmic sound of the rain, the nostalgic odour of spilled alcohol…

The memory hit Goro suddenly. His mother crying, as the bottle she was holding clattered to the ground, spilling the liquid. The smell was sharp, making Goro wince, but not as much as his mother’s steely hold.

_”Listen, Goro. Never give yourself away. No matter what they say to you, keep them at arm's length. The second you give people what they want…_

Goro shoved Akira away on reflex, as the sudden surge of panic filled his limbs, breaking him out of the paralysis.

_”...they will leave you.”_

Akira was now looking at him with confusion and hurt. Goro wasn’t sure what to do. He still felt rattled by the memory he suddenly remembered.

“I’m… sorry,” he muttered after a moment. Akira didn’t say anything to that, so Goro continued. The excuse felt awfully flat, but it was the only thing he had. “I… I just… remembered something. Sorry.”

Akira just nodded, his gaze inscrutable again.

“I think we should try and make a dash. The rain seems to have lessened,” Akira suggested.

Goro nodded in agreement without even checking if the claim was true. He wanted to get out of here. Out of this dank laundry room that brought back the sharp memory of his mother at her lowest point.

“Yes, I want out of here,” Goro agreed, as the two of them rushed through the street.

*

They got slightly damp from the drizzling rain, but it was a small price to pay for getting back into the safe confines of Leblanc cafe.

“I want coffee,” Goro demanded, shortly after they entered.

“You should ask nicely,” Akira pointed out.

“Get me the damn coffee,” Goro corrected himself.

“You are awfully snappy today, honey,” Akira said mockingly, but then picked up the apron and dutifully took his place behind the counter. “Any particular order?”

“Not really, I just need to forget that smell,” Goro muttered. 

“Smell? You mean of alcohol?” Akira asked, visibly curious for details. Goro nodded.

Akira seemed to want to know more, but didn’t press more, instead getting into actually brewing coffee.

“Was it a memory from one of foster houses?” he finally broke the silence as he was almost finishing the coffee. “Sorry if it’s nosy, I just…”

“No, it was from when my mother was still alive,” Goro said unceremoniously. “And I really don’t want to discuss the particularities of this memory.”

“She drank?” Akira asked, sounding slightly disbelieving at that fact, while he set the cup before Goro.

“Yeah,” Goro replied, feeling slightly annoyed at Akira’s denseness. “She felt desperate enough to commit suicide. It’s not that weird that before she did it she tried to drown her despair in alcohol.”

“Did she…” Akira started, but aborted the question halfway through.

“No, she didn’t do anything particularly bad while she was drunk. But seeing your mother crying on the floor, as she spills the alcohol she is drinking, is not really something that turns into a good memory,” Goro answered anyway, because he didn’t want Akira speculating that his mother was just like other shitty adults in his life. She deserved better than that.

“I see,” Akira muttered, while Goro got to his coffee.

“What about your parents?” Goro asked, deciding to use this opportunity to fish for more information.

“They didn’t abuse me, if that’s the question,” Akira replied evasively.

“I’m more interested by the fact that I have never seen them on your recent contact list,” Goro pointed out. “Come on, I think I deserve some honesty here.”

Akira sighed.

“If you had figured out that much, then there’s not much for me to say,” Akira admitted with a sigh. “I got silent treatment even before coming to Tokyo.”

“They didn’t believe you were innocent?”

“They didn’t care,” Akira said with a scoff. He turned around to get to the stove. “The second their only son smeared the image of the perfect family they had going, he stopped existing for them.”

Akira set the pot with what was presumably curry on it and lit a fire under it.

“Is there even a point in you leaving Tokyo when your probation ends?”

“Not really, and I’m like ninety percent sure Sojiro would adopt me if he had the possibility to do so,” Akira admitted. “But I think I don’t have to explain to you that life often doesn’t give us what we want.”

“Yes, you don’t,” Goro agreed gloomily, as he finished his coffee.

Akira sighed.

“It’s fine…” he said, trying to sound confident. “I’ve gotten so much ever since I came to Tokyo. And it’s not like I will lose it all when I leave, so…”

“You could lose it all if your plan doesn’t work out,” Goro pointed out.

“Nah, you won’t let me,” Akira countered easily.

The worst part of it was that it was the truth. Goro was ready to risk a lot in order to keep Akira safe. He already risked his life once—it was a dumb decision really, but also one he couldn’t take back.

He wasn’t as good at lying to himself as he used to be.

Which was why he merely sighed, as he straightened in his seat.

“Just don’t make a habit of getting yourself into lethal situations.” 

The atmosphere was so nice. The smell of coffee and peaceful ambience of Leblanc was making Goro lower his guard. After all the stressful events, the normality of it was like a balm that pushed the unhappy memories away. 

“Say, do you think making out with your would-be assassin counts as lethal?” Akira asked, leaning forward. There was nothing subtle about the way he was looking at Goro, his gaze firmly planted on his slightly exposed neck. 

Goro wasn’t sure if he wanted Akira to stop or continue staring. Probably both. The heat from the coffee Goro was drinking seemed to settle low in his stomach, making him burn from inside. He felt a strange sort of anticipation, as a genuine smile lit up his face.

“Definitely unadvised, but well… when did that ever stop you?”

*

Goro wasn’t sure how they both moved upstairs. As far as he was concerned, they both magically teleported onto the attic, so they could waste no time on things that weren’t kissing.

Which to be honest, was the only thing worth concentrating on right now.

All the worries and doubts Goro had earlier seemed to melt in the kiss. Stray hands were roaming, trying to steal as much as possible. Their bodies were pressed close together and Goro relished in that feeling of closeness. He wanted more of that.

His mother’s warning was nothing but a distant memory. 

“Goro… Goro…” Akira kept repeating his name so feverently it made Goro dizzy. Nobody had ever wanted Goro so much. Practically begged for him.

It just made Goro feel greedier, reaching for more touch and warmth. And as always, Akira was too generous in how much of himself he was willing to give to others. He let Goro claim as much as he wanted, making pleased sounds that only fueled Goro’s selfishness.

Impatient, he steered both of them towards the bed. They fumbled, unwilling to let each other go, even for a moment. As they somehow got close to it, Goro’s untimely push finally resulted in them tripping.

For a second, Goro felt himself panic as the fear of getting hurt managed to break through his hormone-driven thoughts. Luckily, they landed mostly on the bed. It creaked under their combined weight, but cushioned their fall, making Goro sigh in relief…

...except there was another more ominous creak.

Goro pushed himself up in panic, just as Akira’s makeshift bed made of crates collapsed. Goro tumbled backwards, watching in horror as Akira disappeared into the ruins of his own bed.

There was a minute of utter silence, as the two of them slowly recovered from the sudden whiplash.

“I’m okay,” Akira finally said, sounding somehow resigned. There were more sounds of creaking plastic, as Akira squirmed “Could you, uh… please help me? I think I’m stuck.”

Goro slowly approached and then carefully pulled Akira, freeing him from the confines of his ruined bed.

“Guess repeatedly falling on top of them will wear down even the best quality crates in Yongen-Jaya,” he mused out loud. He was visibly trying to clear the mood despite the fact that he was hurting. Goro could tell that some of the broken plastic had to at least leave bruises.

Goro shouldn’t have been so careless. He should have thought it through. He shouldn’t have let his impulses take over.

Once more he could feel anxiety fill his stomach. The worry over Akira’s health and his mother’s warning were now swirling in his head. It was starting to make him feel sick.

“I should go,” he said, hastily gathering his things.

“Goro?” Akira said, clearly worried. He extended his hand, but Goro dodged it, as he scooped up the last bag.

“I need to go. See you soon,” he said, pretty much throwing himself down the stairs.

Akira tried to follow, but when he reached the ground floor, Goro was already running out of the building.

“Wait! Goro!” Akira shouted, but his voice disappeared in the darkness of the night just like Goro’s silhouette.


End file.
